will the sand remember

what you drew on it? like your heart does remember, what you have done to it.

I woke up, disoriented this morning, but not about where i am, but more like in time. My heart choked from the dust of the past memories, i was awaken by the eruptions of emotions coming from random events in the past, people that i met, places that i was in. So yeah, i woke up lost, so to speak.

I texted a friend and asked him, when we met. i thought if i know the number of the time i can start tracing whatever there needed to be traced and re-memorize and re-known then i will find my self again. i can re-direct my self. Drop the pin at certain place in past lane to start.

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2016 – the year of shoes

I have never bought as many shoes as i did this year. But i am not and wont be one of those girls who pile their shoes in their closet and never wore most of them, If i want to buy another pair, i gave away the ones i dont wear anymore, and they were still in pretty good conditions. So yeah i got 5 pairs now, based on my need.

When Oprah cant stop remembering how she wanted to have bicycle but she couldnt, in the past, i cant stop feeling so grateful having been able to afford those shoes easily, as when in the past, i remember i wore leaking shoes, that got my feet wet cold when it rained, till i had to ask a friend if she got extra shoes i could wear.

The abundant blessing, that took me a while to adjust and register in my mind, that freaks me out a little. The year didnt start easy, it put me into so many challenging situation that i have never thought i would be in before, but those experiences are so personal that no matter how hard you try to tell the stories people will not understand. It is yours and yours alone. But there this strength and peace that grows inside me that felt so strong that will hold me thru any other rain and storms.

Looking back, not too far back, just the past 355 days, things i had to go thru and still manage to stand here strong, different, better i hope, but i know i am stronger. I am deeply greatly grateful. And i know there are still a lot to learn, still doing my best to receive any tiny blessing, it might come in harsh way but Life is a hard work, Miracle is a hard work.

Thank you UNIVERSE for so many shoes and other tiny big blessings.

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Mountain Sickness

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I didnt intend to be the model, i am the victim of my own desires to do some photography concept, i built images in my head,but it was a really a spontaneous idea, decided just a day before the hike, i suppose to take the pictures, not to be in them, but well…. The original idea was ballerina outfit with black umbrella, red lampion, Geisha face make up, etc etc. Ended up renting the dress, i want to start to make it happen. Hiked the mountain with some good friends, put the dress at the peak despite the fact that i am shy i managed to fight it, and its cooold. Of course people asked “why the heck you wear that dress here?” . Not easy to really make faces and expression for me, that actually the hardest part (i dont smile well, i dont want to look cheesy n or sweet). I know the angle, i can predict how it will look (mental photographic) but to make the expression that i wanted out of my self??? Anyway, there it goes…..

Photographer : Boby Putra Bahär ; Concept & digital editing : Sita