there is a distance between now and then. A deep blue brink separating laughter and sadness. Contentment is a lonely word and yet it comforts me well. I throw thousand promises thru misty air smell alcohol, but what sort of life leading here, i never have understood, i guess i never will. I can make up stories of sad lifes or temporary empty happines looking for prey.
I woke up freaked out, the other morning. I dreamt i failed this writing challenge, i failed my surfing challenge, that time is up; felt like all the purposes in my life were gone and i have become nothing. It still is boggling me, the necessity to formulate life purpose, does it have to be more romantic or sophisticated than Living Life to the fullest?
“It’s too personal to me” he said declining when i tried to touch his lips with mine. I was a bit taken a back then bended my head a bit ( my unconcious gesture when there is something i dont understand as if looking at an image but i dont know what it is of). Still fully alert, my senses tried to record and register the play we continued.
Not quite cold and distant, but i was extracting some fears from his defense, that managed to wound my pride. Coz “You are taking it personal” as he said.
I had no clue, but nevertheles i am writing it down on my mental note with no mark to go back to.
Like collecting broken petals, they collect quotes because they sound beautiful and true. Stuck them in places inside their minds like sign-posts as reminder “dont fall here!”, “be here!” etc. In time, the petals will go dry and grey, so will the sign-posts rust and forgotten. In time, they will come to realize they could have written the words them selves simply by truely living their life.