There are moments in my life that i feel i am changing into another state, like adjusting into something else i was not. It may sound like simple changes like putting on dresses and or make up more often than i used to. My friends who know me for sometime would notice the change, and their reactions would be my mirror to reflect, some would say “it’s not you!” , and some would say ” i like it better”.
I never quite do anything or change to impress anyone, i just do it because i feel like doing it, so sometimes people responses surprised me. It did make me think or wonder how actually people define me, how actually i define my self. Does it even matter? It does not for me, but it does tickle me sometimes.
“exploring…defining…being” used that words since i created this blog, but only recently it struck me, despite the fact that i have been using the words pretty often in different term and or situation. I try things to explore what is in there for me, or whether i am that or this, that it would change the way i define my self, being my self.
So what i am really, but the compilation of selves that i created then replaced; a living storage of stories or memories or fragments that made me who i am now. And in time i can start more consciously feel what i am, how i am, it feels like i am building a new puzzle, or reformulating a self or an individual that i can be. And down deeper inside there is this core that stays the same, no matter what wrapping it is covered with; and it will stay fluid.