how can i write when every character simply disappear on the tip of my pen?
when words have their own will and keep denying my command?
i wanted to write “nothing”, but it deformed it self into a whole story of meanings, as if saying “this is what you do want to write”, yet my pen refused to catch up.
it scares me, when i just started with a dot, then it found its own strength to grow into a dragonfly and flipping around in my head, or
many times its just stuck and stay as a forever dot.
i want to stop the words from floating away,
and build a dam to contain them, but it scares me even more
as i know, once the dam is broken i would drown into my river words
that i have to fight my way up to surface and not to get dragged
so, how can i write? it starts to grow pain in my chest