numb

how can i write when every character simply disappear on the tip of my pen?

when words have their own will and keep denying my command?

i wanted to write “nothing”, but it deformed it self into a whole story of meanings, as if saying “this is what you do want to write”, yet my pen refused to catch up.

it scares me, when i just started with a dot, then it found its own strength to grow into a dragonfly and flipping around in my head, or

many times its just stuck and stay as a forever dot.

i want to stop the words from floating away,

and build a dam to contain them, but it scares me even more

as i know, once the dam is broken i would drown into my river words

that i have to fight my way up to surface and not to get dragged

so, how can i write? it starts to grow pain in my chest

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7 comments on “numb

  1. arjun bagga says:

    Every word you’ve written is true, your fears are justified. Every writer can relate to your post and no where have you minced your feelings but expressed as candid as you could.
    The day you picked up a pen, you sealed your fate. Words will teach you to swim. Don’t be afraid.
    P.S I read the link you send. I like it 🙂

  2. HJM says:

    Truth! I have a tendency to furiously scribble my thoughts down before they turn into nothing but air but then I look down at the page and realize that I cannot read my own scribbles. It’s frustrating. Never enough time to capture everything in just the right way.

    • sitateofani says:

      =) i bring a notepad and a pen everywhere, at least a pen, just in case something cross and worth taking note, else i tend to let my thoughts floating, running, or do whatever while i am doing my things. Agree, never enough time to capture everything in just the right way

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