Time persists. Moving forward, or is it really moving forward just because we age every single second? Or is it just rotating? as we keep heading closer to our non existence (if it is too gloomy to call it death), where we start from.
And yet, still I feel my self standing here, within a bundle of undefined colours, that floating smooth like silky wave yet strong, collide one to another. Feels like the time rotating and changing without my presence. Or it is I who never really there.
Life maybe a repetition of events but in different forms, but I know I am a changed person, or am I really? Essentially I still feel the same, but does it all matter? at all?
At my end three (three), time struck me with another truth that it does exist to ignite a one deep betrayal. It struck my whole world and left me only with small corner to see and try to understand what was going on, to finally accept that it was real, that it did happen, that I just have to find the light beyond to go thru it. Same old routine, but the wound still is throbbing, as I kept my heart away to simply forgive.
Starting my three (four) new path seems to open up, everything seems different and brand new. Overwhelmed with these undefined colours, standing and touching my hands on the smooth silky wave surround me. Soft but powerful, my cocoon.
Solitude is still my best remedy, when words refuse to be pulled out and expressed, and silence makes more sense and speaks my true feelings. Cuz, the world doesn’t need to know. Cuz the world will take me wrong anyway.
Feels like the time rotating and changing without my presence. Or was I really there when I kneel and say my prayers? Or when I vowed to commit on my wordly dreams? Or when I danced hiding in the crowd ? Or when I stared at the nite sky and dipped my feet on the wet sand? Or when I stood and kissed the guy? Or when I stand in front of the mirror and wear my costume? Or when I told to my self : “this is a different stage, play your new role! Play it well! You might like it you might not, but at least you try, then you’ll know your self better” ?
This is my three (four) and I am going to dress up for it and set up my ground for more interesting life.