It’s so far behind, the seemingly endless rainy days, with my one and only pair leaking shoes, and with the anger that kept me warm and survive.
And here I am, with more dreams than I used to dare to build, as horizon seems wider than I used to imagine.
Here I am, still trying to feel Bali as home; dreaming of India, the free fall from the highest bungee jumping, barbequing marshmallow on Himalaya.
But then again, life it self has become the most exciting and rich journey. And that is how I cheer my self out of jealousy and disappointment for not having the wings that would allow me to fly higher and further. Somehow, it has become my attitude in feeling grateful for my life, with the bitter parts that gets me strong, the sweet that keep me believing in hopes.
Somehow I am feeling the changes inside my self. Perhaps, I am closer to the truth that I have been seeking, perhaps I can see my self clearer, perhaps I am closer to that core that keeps me breathing, perhaps I have finally make peace with my self, raising my white flag, surrender. And let the wisdom of time and universe guide me.
I may have not been to all there, I may have not done all that. But I believe I have done my part to know better of my self. I dabbled with the jerks, I crossed many boundaries just to see what lies beyond, I may have gotten lost my way so many times. Yet, surprisingly always find my way back with better understanding on things, but universe is such a huge place that my quest hasn’t come to its end yet.
Lost my job after 3 years, was shocked, tho I had somehow expected it to happen. As life never seem to let me be in a comfort zone for a long time. And there again I had to say : C’est la Vie
And voila, I am 33 and happier and calmer and braver and so ready to finish the page and open up the new one!